Heart of Esther

"And who knows but that you have come to this position for such a time as this?" –Esther 4:14

paralysed January 6, 2012

Filed under: Baby,Christ,Christianity,Family,God,Lord,Pregnancy Loss,Religion and Spirituality — Heart of Esther @ 1:38 am

My doctor’s office called this morning.  The labs I had taken came back low.

My hcg-low.  


So an ultrasound is scheduled for this afternoon.  In a couple of hours I find out if our baby is all right…if there’s a heartbeat.  I feel literally paralysed right now.  I should clean up dishes.  I should play with the kids.  I should vacuum.  I should read the Word.  I should do something.  But I can’t.  I’m sitting here waiting to find out if we lost another baby.  I cannot even begin to say what is going on in my heart right now.  

Today I woke up feeling pretty good and I thought-“oh, thank you, Lord for having mercy on me and helping me to not feel so sick this time!”  And then I found out why.  It wasn’t mercy or grace.  How ironic.  To have so much faith and peace but for nought.  

So, please, if you read this, send up a prayer for us.  That we will hear good news.  That we still have a baby.


One Response to “paralysed”

  1. Sending you lots of positive vibes xo

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