Heart of Esther

"And who knows but that you have come to this position for such a time as this?" –Esther 4:14

A few words about him December 6, 2011

He’s the strong, silent type.

He doesn’t wear his heart on his sleeve, but I always know where he stands.

He’s calm and reassuring, even when the storm shakes him to his core.

He takes care of me-not just physically, but my heart, too.

He allows me to talk when I feel like talking, but he holds me in the silence when there are no words.

He makes decisions and takes care of things I cannot handle.

He lovingly has met all my needs to the best of his ability.

He is my buffer, and my guard.

He keeps me grounded in our faith.

He has brought me anything he thought might ease my pain and not judged me for it.

He has never demanded I move on or told me how or when to heal but has allowed me to work through my own heart.

His strength has carried me through and allowed me to be vulnerable.  

Even though he is in pain, he has not let it overtake him so that he can be there for me.

He has allowed me to grieve the way I do and I’ve allowed him to grieve how he does.  And its strengthened our bond.  Because no one knows the depth and dynamics of our loss but us.

I’m thankful for his strong arms and enveloping hugs that make me feel secure.  

For his quiet way of sacrificial living and loving and supporting and giving.

I could not have made it this far without him-my husband, my soul-mate, my friend.

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DESERT SONG November 3, 2011

DESERT SONG by Hillsong United

This song has seen me through so many season in my life.  It has become a theme song for my life.  

LYRICS

Verse 1:
This is my prayer in the desert
And all that’s within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

Verse 2:
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

Chorus:
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

Verse 3:
And this is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on it’s way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I’ll stand

Bridge:
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

Verse 4:
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I’m filled to be emptied again
The seed I’ve recieved I will sow

 

HE MEETS ME WHERE I AM November 2, 2011

To my harsh heart, He is soft and gentle.  He is my “enough” in my inadequacy.  His forgiveness pours into my bitterness and disappointment.  My deformities and ugliness are traded for loveliness and beauty.  He brings instant calm to the storm of anger that rages inside me.  When fear, doubt and worry swell within me, the soft wind of His Peace rushes over my soul and I know I can rest in trust.  When the enemy has stolen my joy, His laughter and joy bubble over.    He is the anchor to my double mindedness and restlessness.  It is ME who gets in the way of His nature, of the sweet flow of His Love. 

But He never punishes me for being the opposite of Him.  Instead, He constantly showers me in His grace by meeting me where I am.  He gently takes my head and turns it.  He blows His sweet Spirit on me and causes me to breathe in His goodness; His love washes over me and cleanses me from every worry, every habit, and every part of my old, dead nature and restores me.  He somehow shows me in that instant that my struggle to make myself “better” is no longer an issue when His Spirit is rising up within me. 

Often I care more about myself than those around me.  I have let bitterness and unforgiveness stifle the outpouring of His grace and mercy.  I have allowed anger to steal the soft words.  Pride has come between me and many relationships.  I stumble and fall and my pride drags me to the ground, but He will always meet me where I am.  His Love continues within ME-every moment that I allow-to pick me up where I am and bring me under His wing.

And then He makes me soar.

 

 
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